Intimacy & Desire
When one partner wants to open the relationship
The conversation goes better when it is separated from the decision, and most of the difficulty is in the agreements rather than the sex.
Intimacy & Desire
Libido, mismatch, communication and the research behind it.
Intimacy & Desire
Touch, outside of sex
Non-sexual physical contact has measurable physiological effects and is the first thing to disappear when a relationship becomes strained.
Intimacy & Desire
Fantasy, and what it does and does not mean
Fantasies are close to universal, are poorly correlated with what people want to happen, and cause a great deal of unnecessary shame.
Intimacy & Desire
Sex in later life
Activity continues far later than the culture assumes, and the assumptions themselves cause measurable harm.
Intimacy & Desire
Sex and chronic illness
It is the aspect of living with a condition that clinicians raise least and patients think about most.
Intimacy & Desire
Medication and sexual side effects
They are common, they are the leading unspoken reason people stop taking medication, and there are usually options.
Intimacy & Desire
Orgasm, and the gap nobody mentions
The difference in orgasm frequency between partners in heterosexual encounters is large, consistent and largely explicable.
Intimacy & Desire
Pornography, honestly assessed
The research is more mixed and more interesting than either the alarm or the dismissal suggests.
Intimacy & Desire
Sex after having a baby
The six-week check is not a starting gun, and the physical recovery is only one of the things that has changed.
Intimacy & Desire
Erectile difficulty, and what it is telling you
It is common, it is frequently an early cardiovascular signal, and it is one of the most treatable things in medicine.
Intimacy & Desire
Long relationships and the disappearance of sex
Familiarity does something specific to desire, and there is more to it than habituation.
Intimacy & Desire
Talking about sex without it becoming a row
Most couples have never had a direct conversation about what they want, and the reasons are more about fear than about prudishness.
Intimacy & Desire
Mismatched desire, and what to do about it
Desire differences are close to universal in long relationships, and the framing of the problem determines whether it can be solved.